Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Colin's Powell Cooking Show!

Howdy USofA'ers,

Gotta bit of a marketing plug ta share with y'all taday. (Serry for da T'xas Sl'ng, gotsa werk on me bad grammer's'sa bit!)


The Exciting New Reality TV Show from Fox News

What rhymes with filet mignon? COLIN POWELL of course! In association with Fox News (a George Bush trustee) Colin Powell now has his own cooking show, aptly titled COLIN'S POWELL COOKS! (Ed Note: The typo is due to the fact that George Bush issued the press release and apparently did not realize he had spelled his "friend advisor black guy's" name wrong.)

On this groovy retro-'70s-themed cooking show, COLIN POWELL will present to you a delicious array of homemade dishes! Can you say MM-MM-good?! I know I can!

On episode one, titled CRAB CAKES TO BITCHSLAP OSAMA BIN LADEN, Colin teaches us all how to craft delicious but deadly sabotage crab cakes that will simultaneously fulfill your enemy's appetite, and deliver them a deadly load of vicious biochemical poison! Perfect for on the go - after all, who knows when you might end up in the Middle-East, camping out with Osama Bin Laden and discussing the terrorist activities of the area. It's the perfect time to slip him a Sabotage Crab Cake and watch him sputter in disbelief as he grabs his turben off his bony bald head and pukes his guts into it. (Side-effects of the crab cake may also include diarrhea, fatigue and limb dismemberment.)

Episode II will feature the entire cast of STAR WARS EPISODE III THE REVENGE OF THE SITH cooking their famous George Lucas-invented "Star Wars Marketing Ploy Mucho Dollars for Lucas Official Limited Edition Collector's Extended Version of Filet Mignon."

While HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN shows you the do's and don'ts of how to cook the filet mignon to exactly the right level, George Lucas will perform a musical duet with Natalie Portman, singing the theme song from BEACHES! (Complete with a moment when George Lucas breaks down sobbing and uses his beard to dab his wet eyelids.)

The event will be topped off when Colin Powell, George Lucas and Condoleza Ricci all join in a musical rendition of THE MUSIC MAN, where one of the lucky hosts will reveal their plans for a new STAR WARS movie sequel. Can you guess who?!


I hope you all stay tuned to Fox News and enjoy this reality TV masterpiece! Don't tell anyone I didn't warn you! (Whatever that means.)


- The Big Daddy, George Dubya


Anonymous Anonymous said...

wanna go karaoke tonight?


June 1, 2005 at 2:56 PM  

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