Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Paving the Way for the Future

Well hello there my fellow Americans,

How nice of you to stop by. Yes, I'm BACK! (Like that guy in that movie about the robot who kills people alot.) It's been a while but I'm back at last n' ready to raise the roof n' dance like Will Smith on 'roids (I got that from a poem). Anywho the reason I haven't updated in so long is that I've been so busy doing stuff, like... reading loads of things I don't understand ... watching TV ... brushing my teeth ... remembering to brush my teeth before I go to sleep ... and oh yeah, defending our nation from the evil of turban-wielding foreigners. Remembering to brush my teeth is the hardest though. Some things just demand attention, and this Prez's pearly whites take precedence over your country! Sorry, folks, gotta look good for the cameras!

Anyway I am going to tell you all a special story of mine that I told Dick's Cheney last week (before he had another heart operation). It made him so excited his face turned real red and he grabbed his chest and started drooling. He grabbed at me and started gurgling these words but I was offended and walked away and told him "If you're going to speak to me, do so like an adult." The next day I found out he was in the hospital for a major heart attack. That's what he gets for insulting the Prez!! Bee-yatch. (I can't say the "real word" or Laura will spank me.)

My story is an ermusing one. Last week I was real tired of being President so I decided to take the day off. I called in sick but that didn't work because I was informed that I live at work so it's impossible for me to call in sick. I was pretty upset and for a minute I wished I worked at McDonald's down the road so I could call in sick. I know the guy who works there, Jerry Lardass, and he told me he takes off sick all the time and goes out for the day. But I can't because I'm President?! That's soooo unfair.

Anyway I used the secret passage in my bedroom and escaped to the outside world. They put my face all over the news a couple hours later and it said "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PRESIDENT?" and they said I had gone missing, but the joke was on them! I was relaxing at a local Burger King, sipping what the man behind the counter described as a "sperm-contaminated milkshake," when the police burst through the door, fired three rounds into the guy behind the front desk, threw me into the back of my Official Super Presidential Limo and drove me back to the White House.

Later on the news they found out that the man they shot in the Burger King was really innocent but they covered it up by linking him to an unknown murder in Wyoming from five years ago. Granted, he was 12 at the time of the murder, but oh well.

So that's how my life has gone recently. Now you all know why I haven't been able to update as much. But this Georgey will keep you informed from now on, with Burger King as my witness I will deliver thy goods! As the Lord Jesus (might) have said: "Keep truckin'!"

Love,

- The Prez

3 Comments:

Blogger rokkgod said...

I was surfing around and found another George Bush site.George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People This place has a ton of funny videos and mp3s.

November 7, 2005 at 12:57 AM  
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