Monday, October 03, 2005

People Who Should Be Dead (And Some Who Are)


George here. (President Bush to my friends, and Master of the Universe to peasants and black satanists.) Last night Barbra finally got out of the hospital from that nasty incident involving bed, the window and the cement outside the White House (see previous MySpace article for more information on Laura's mistakes).

Well, her nagging on the way back from the hospital drove me crazy, so I started concentrating real hard on people I hate. After five seconds my mind went blank because I can't think for more than five seconds at a time, but I did come up with these names a few hours later.

These definitions/summaries are taken straight from my favorite website, (well it's not really my favorite website but it's good for looking up porn stars' names).

So, without further a-doo-doo:

(#'s 10 - 7 Because I'm Too Lazy to Write Alot)
Richard Wagstaff Clark (born November 30, 1821 - 1900), more commonly known as Dickey, is an Robot television entertainer. In addition to his television work, he is known for his continued youthful appearance ("America's Oldest Fart") and has been in good health, but suffered his first stroke in 1924. He also died in 1900 aboard the Titanic's sister fleet, The Big Ol' Bastard. Five hundred million people drowned on that fateful day...but it was covered up by the government.

Dick Clark is today a human-looking robotic organism (similar to The Terminator). During the day he hosts his own TV shows, and during the evenings goes on mad killing sprees and says "I'll be back" a lot.
THE PREZ SAYS: This man is evil because he is old. Old people...they give me the creeps. One day I was walking my imaginary dog, Poochy. Dick Clark tried to molest me. At least I think it was Dick Clark. Maybe it was Oprah Winfrey. Which brings me to my next person:
Oprah Gail Winfrey (born January 29, 1954 in Kosciusko, Mississippi) is one of the most successful poopy heads in the United States. She is currently involved in many business ventures, but is most identified with her massively popular and eponymous shit show. She is currently ranked as the most powerful celebrity by Forbes magazine, because she's black and has money. She also likes to suck the cock.
She is friends with Tom Cruise (or is that Rosie O'Donnell?) which means she is stupid, because Tom Cruise is stupid too.
Trivia Note: She lied about her age. She was actually born in 1921, and I'm happy to report she looks her age.
Retrieved from ""
THE PREZ SAYS: She tried to molest me and looks like a big ol' darn chimpanzee. 'Nuff said, as the ho-bee-yatches say.
Tom Cruise (born Thomas Cruise Mapother IV July 3, 1962 in Syracuse, New York, USA) is an American actor and producer who has starred in a number of top-grossing (read: shitty) movies. His first leading role in a blockbuster movie was in 1983's Risky Business. It was good because it had tits. (And not Cruise's.)

Cruise was born to Thomas Cruise Mapother III and Mary Lee Pfeiffer. (No relation to least I hope not because that would be gross since I fantasize about her every day.)
The very first Mapother's were Welsh immigrants to the United States. Cruise also has German ancestry from his paternal great-grandparents, William Reibert and Charlotta Louise Voelker. He tried to pay respect to the conflicts his ancestors went through by starring in Far and Away, but because he's a dumbass he didn't realize Irish people have to sound Irish in order to be convincing.
He believes in Scientology because he is a weirdo, and he's now engaged to Katie "Jail Bait" Holmes. They enjoy candelit strolls on the table, romantic evenings over the beach, playing Yahtzee, discussing which one of them is prettier, and smiling at each other incessantly in between piggyback rides.
P.S. Cruise is a gaywad.
Retrieved from ""
THE PREZ SAYS: You may have seen Mr. Cruise (a.k.a. Stupid Head) mentioned in my other "Ten People..." list from earlier this year. I hate to sound like I'm reiterating (hee-hee I used a tyranosaurus to look up new words!) myself but I can't express how much I hate this man. Mainly because he got to boink Nicole Kidman and didn't even appreciate it because he's a homosexual (a.k.a. The Devil's Steamy Gay Hot Sex Fans). Please ignore him and boycott all movies at all costs. (Yes, even Everybody Loves Rain Man.)
Well that's it for now because I'm bored. I'll finish my list later. I've gotta go watch Clueless. Hee-hee, that movie is funny!!


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